Skip to Content

Resources - Loneliness

LonelinessThis information is available to download in a word document download

This page contains relevant information and resources for students who are experiencing loneliness.

Loneliness is a very common sad, unhappy, empty feeling of being unconnected to people.

What kinds of loneliness are there?

  1. The loneliness of missing special people, like family and close friends, who are a long way away and not easy to contact.

  2. The loneliness of being in new and strange surroundings where you do not know anyone yet.

  3. The loneliness of missing a very special person who is lost to you, maybe through death, or relationship break-up, work or travel.

  4. The loneliness of being around other people but feeling that you don't fit in or belong.

  5. The loneliness of having acquaintances but not having anyone you feel close to so as to be able to talk with about important or

Who gets lonely?

Pretty much everyone feels lonely at some time, but loneliness is more likely under certain circumstances.

  1. Being an International Student newly arrived in Melbourne. You may be experiencing "culture shock" - unfamiliar language, customs, food, weather: everything seems strange and you feel isolated.

  2. Being a student newly arrived in Melbourne from the country or from interstate - the important people in your life are all a long way away.

  3. Being a Mature Age student returning to study - feeling cut-off from other students by age, along with work and family commitments outside Swinnie.

  4. Being a PhD student - working by yourself on your research topic, which only you really understand.

  5. Being a student with a possessive partner who demands your exclusive attention—you feel cut-off from other once-close friends, and dependent, vulnerable, isolated.

  6. Being a student with a turbulent or troubled life history which may be hard for others to understand or accept—you feel wary about getting close to anyone.

  7. Being a student who is struggling to feel comfortable with your sexual orientation—you feel anxious about the reactions of others.

Times of high risk of feeling lonely

  1. First year, first week of classes—everything is new and unfamiliar, none of your old friends are here, you don't know anyone.

  2. First year, later in first term/semester—you still haven't really made many friends and you feel overwhelmed by the workload and maybe by having to now look after yourself for the first time: cooking, cleaning, laundry, finances.

  3. Returning to Swinnie after the Christmas/New Year break—you have left old friends and family behind again.

The key to overcoming loneliness

Loneliness is a passive state. Unlike a common cold, it will not cure itself. You have to take action. You have to do things to make your situation different

Things you can do to reduce feelings of loneliness

  1. Relax! Stop worrying about it so much. Stop blaming yourself. Stop blaming other people.

  2. Resume, or begin, an activity which involves other people. It could involve a team sport, or a sport or exercise which you do in the company other people. It could involve a recreation, a hobby, a club, or a cultural group. Doing things with other people is a good way for friendships to develop.

  3. Look at your daily schedule of activities. Are there things you could do differently which would put you with people? Have tea/coffee, a drink, a meal with others? Sit with different people in classes—chat with them about the course or assignments.

  4. Make use of the resources on your campus. The Swinburne Student Amenities Association provides a lot of activities and sponsors a range of clubs and societies. Energise yourself to try something. If that activity turns out to be not what you wanted, don't give up, try something else!

  5. Give things time: close friendships take a while to develop. Don't try to rush things.

  6. Observe other people: how do they start conversations and keep them going? Can you improve your social skills? Remember that most people respond positively if you come across as being interested in them and their ideas.

  7. Don't be trapped by your past. Give every new contact a chance to develop into something. Don't become stuck in a pessimistic mind set about other people.

  8. If you do spend a lot of time on your own, use this positively so you have something to talk about when are with other people. As time permits, watch a range of TV shows, buy and read a daily paper, every so often go to a bookstore and get hold of a latest best seller to read. By doing these things, you provide yourself with ideas you can share with others.

  9. If you are concerned that things are not working out for you, see one of the Counsellors on your campus. He or she can help you look at your situation and explore options.

Back to Top

If you are concerned about feeling lonely, the resources below can help you.

Swinburne University Services and Resources

Back to Top